Book of Hesitations

Translator’s note: I’ve recently found the Qualmish Creation story. I thought it would be in the Book of Qualms, but it is at the beginning of the Book of Hesitations.

This probably reflects the notion that the Qualmish do not take their Creation story literally or particularly seriously. However, it is the tradition handed down, and it is important because the Creation story leads to one of the primary revelations of the Qualmish. The Qualmish refer to their revelations as “suspicions”. I have translated them as such. I’m a little surprised there is not a Book of Suspicions. If I were simply making this up, there would be a Book of Suspicions. But no. My personal comments regarding the translation appear in brackets.

Book of Hesitations, Chapter 1

1. In the beginning was a word. It was a short word like “pffft” or “ack”.

2. This word was the first indication that there was Something rather than Nothing. Until then, it could have gone either way.

3. Once there was a word, everyone started looking for who said it.

4. Since no one had been looking for anything before this word, it is possible that the word created the people who were looking for it.

5. It seems unlikely, but there are not that many choices.

6. One of the few assertions of the Qualmish people is that there are only two possibilities leading to our existence: Something came from Nothing, or Something has been here forever with no beginning.

7. Neither choice makes sense or has a precedent, and yet at least one of them must be true.

[If you can think of a third possibility, let me know. This website allows comments and emails. Tertium quid.]

8. The first great Suspicion of the Qualmists is that we live in a reality that makes little or no sense.

9. If you’re not confused by your existence, you’re not paying attention. This is the core of Qualmism.

10. The Qualmish vowed to resist proselytizing from the earliest moments, even from the first pffft. However, Qualmists strongly believe that people should say, “I don’t know” more often.