Book of Qualms, Chapter 3:1-26; (complete). Known traditionally as The Miraculous Misconception. Though not officially sanctioned, it is also known as the Sermon on the Butte. 1. The prophet Lodish, one of the early prophets in the Qualmish tradition, went to speak on a large hill that was flat on the top. He announced that there […]
About Chauncey Bowers
July 22, 2014 Leave a Comment
September 30, 2013 Leave a Comment
The Book of Pronouns
[It should not be surprising that the ancient, wise and erudite Qualmish addressed the nuance of the reflexive pronoun in the Book of Pronouns. The Book of Pronouns is the most obscure of the Books, and many Qualmish believe it exists simply to test them. By that they mean, if you believe the assertions in […]
September 30, 2013 Leave a Comment
Book of Hesitations
Translator’s note: I’ve recently found the Qualmish Creation story. I thought it would be in the Book of Qualms, but it is at the beginning of the Book of Hesitations. This probably reflects the notion that the Qualmish do not take their Creation story literally or particularly seriously. However, it is the tradition handed down, […]
September 30, 2013 1 Comment
The Ten Suggestions
Finally, I’ve translated the Ten Suggestions. They are: 1. Maintain a general uneasiness about all things. 2. Try to minimize how many things you worship, because it gets confusing after a while. 3. You don’t know what God looks like, why are you even thinking about graven images? 4. Try to take a day off […]
July 28, 2013 Leave a Comment
The Speed of Darkness: Resolution (Part 3 of 3)
How much more do you want to know? You have the wall lowering at exactly k = sin(θ) so the light appears instantly on the ground from the 55 foot mark to the 27.5 foot “destination”. If you increase k further, the denominator will become negative, suggesting the velocity of the shadow will now reverse. […]
July 28, 2013 Leave a Comment
The Speed of Darkness: Singularities (Part 2 of 3)
If you’ve stumbled here in your search for the Speed of Darkness Series, I encourage you to first read Part 1 of this series, The Speed of Darkness. So, shadows traveling faster than the speed of light are one thing, singularities in equations are quite another. First, I should put some specifics on this situation for […]
July 28, 2013 Leave a Comment
The Speed of Darkness Series: Part 1 of 3
There is a general misunderstanding about Nature’s speed limit. It is often asserted that nothing can travel faster than the speed of light in a vacuum. This is incorrect. There are several easily measurable things that can move much faster than the speed of light. One class of such things is shadows, more precisely, the […]
July 4, 2013 Leave a Comment
Hey, How Are Ya? Spider’s Game Video
A while ago, I wrote a love song after watching a documentary about spiders having sex. And this song is what happened… it’s called Hey, How Are Ya? Lyrics: I was walkin’ down the street one day, And this women with high heeled legs, She walked up and started talking to me, And it was […]
June 20, 2013 Leave a Comment
Demote Indigo
I’ve been thinking about the rainbow, and it’s not clear to me that indigo should have its own band. It should be demoted, much like Pluto was demoted from being a planet. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying indigo isn’t a color in the rainbow, or that The Indigo Girls shouldn’t have a band. […]
April 16, 2013 Leave a Comment
About Qualmism
I’ve started a new religion because there just are not enough religions. I call it Qualmism, and it’s founded on a general uneasiness about everything. We have beliefs, but we have qualms about them. I found sacred books buried in the Mojave desert off Interstate 15 on the way to Vegas; I’m still in the process of […]