Book of Qualms, Chapter 3:1-26; (complete). Known traditionally as The Miraculous Misconception. Though not officially sanctioned, it is also known as the Sermon on the Butte. 1. The prophet Lodish, one of the early prophets in the Qualmish tradition, went to speak on a large hill that was flat on the top. He announced that there […]
The Book of Pronouns
[It should not be surprising that the ancient, wise and erudite Qualmish addressed the nuance of the reflexive pronoun in the Book of Pronouns. The Book of Pronouns is the most obscure of the Books, and many Qualmish believe it exists simply to test them. By that they mean, if you believe the assertions in […]
Book of Hesitations
Translator’s note: I’ve recently found the Qualmish Creation story. I thought it would be in the Book of Qualms, but it is at the beginning of the Book of Hesitations. This probably reflects the notion that the Qualmish do not take their Creation story literally or particularly seriously. However, it is the tradition handed down, […]
The Ten Suggestions
Finally, I’ve translated the Ten Suggestions. They are: 1. Maintain a general uneasiness about all things. 2. Try to minimize how many things you worship, because it gets confusing after a while. 3. You don’t know what God looks like, why are you even thinking about graven images? 4. Try to take a day off […]
About Qualmism
I’ve started a new religion because there just are not enough religions. I call it Qualmism, and it’s founded on a general uneasiness about everything. We have beliefs, but we have qualms about them. I found sacred books buried in the Mojave desert off Interstate 15 on the way to Vegas; I’m still in the process of […]